Lindsay Lohan to Star in Sequel to Scarface!

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Obviously, these pics of (b)Lohan doing coke point not to relapse, but to her diligently reseaching her role in the soon to be announced sequel to Scarface. You seriously must admire her dedication to the craft of acting…

This walking branch of the The Sperm Bank of California (TSBC), also claimed in the same tape (of which right now there are only still shots — WTF, INTERNETS?!!!?!?! Get on it and get me video!!!!o1n11e!!11) to have extracted donor sperms from the following:

  • James Blunt
  • Jude Law
  • Calum Best
  • Benicio Del Toro
  • That Guy
  • Jared Leto
  • James Franco
  • That Homeless Dude That Kinda Looks Like Someone Famous, But I Can’t Really Place my Finger on Who
  • Wilmer Valderama
  • Joaquin Phoenix
  • Your Dad

She also said that she tried to get sperms from Leonardo DiCaprio but, Leo did not put his white limo in her hairy garage šŸ˜¦ [(likely on account of it not being a man’s anus)]

Other super-cool info on Ms. Lindsay that we have learned:

She does coke off of toilet seats, keys, magazines, books, tabletops, penii, etc.
She likes stripping down to just her thong, walking around and admiring her body (hawt!).
She can do over 20 (fat) lines of coke in one evening [LIGHTWEIGHT!!!].
She hides Vodka in her water bottle.

In conclusion, Lindsay Lohan is one of the most talented, socially conscious and intelligent people of our generation. She is an hero.

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~ by reverendsupreme on May 6, 2007.

One Response to “Lindsay Lohan to Star in Sequel to Scarface!”

  1. […] THE FUCK IS LOHAN DOING? It’s not like she’s been rehabbing so “hardcore” that she’s […]

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