For purposes of comparison, here’s a Japanese Thriller:

And here’s a bunch of Americans doing the Thriller Dance:

The Filipinos win this one FOR SURE.

And then the pigs dance, of course.
They’re high on Suntory Dakara. And they’re Japanese.
Dancing was inevitable.

Here’s a Tokyo-based Stormtrooper dancing:

This is what happens when an American Stormtrooper dances:

See? We got nothing on the Japanese. Nothing.

ALL JAPANESE APPLIANCES CAN DANCE. A L L O F T H E M.
Guess what?
Japanese recycling bins and garbage can dance, too:

When was the last time your American garbage danced its way up to a dancing US trash bin?

The toilets… the frying pans… and now, the vending machines: all proof of Japan’s Superiority Complex.

Meet Vending Machine Red:

Vending Machine Red meets Coke Zero:

And then… they dance (as is inevitable with all Japanese appliances):

 The Japanese are fucking HARDCORE…our athletes’ skills pale in comparison.

Johnny must’ve prepped Orlando… for Gakkou e Ikou!MAX! (You can see a bit of Johnny’s appearance in Orlando PART ONE.)

PART ONE:

PART TWO (where it gets all sweet and even I kinda crush on Orly):

Here’s Johnny Depp’s appearance. Parts 2 and 3 are here.

MARIAH CAREY?
Selling Nescafe?
NOT COOL.
PARTY FOUL.
ROOKIE MOVE!

The Japanese lost some points on this one.

As you know… from time to time, I like to check in with WordPress and see which search engine terms bring people to this broad church called The Intertron’s Bedazzled Trash.
Here are a few that caught my eye today:

robbie williams, Max Beesley, johnny depp chrissy robbie, john mayer, Reverend Supreme (That’s me! Dude! Sweeeet!), LA Vale, party with a star spam steve.

“Johnny Depp Chrissy Robbie”

This is the second day that people have come to the site with this odd query.
What the hell does it mean?

I found Johnny Depp + Chrissie Hynde + Iggy Pop:

I also found Iggy Pop covering a song that Robbie Williams has covered (on the same night that Johnny and Chrissie appeared… I think.)

But… I can find no occurrence of Johnny Depp + a Chrissy + a Robbie.

Does this have something to do with the Japanese clip?
Well… here’s PART TWO (it’s actually more amazing than part one):

You can watch PART THREE here.

If not any of the above… DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THESE PEEPS ARE LOOKING FOR? It’s driving me crazy…

***UPDATE: Day 4 and the search continues. Will someone puh-leeze tell me if any of the above is what you are looking for?

We may have the biggest frying pan here in the US of A, but it can’t sing and dance like a Japanese frying pan.

Holy fucking shit!

The same crazy Japanese scientists  that found a way to tame Godzilla have somehow developed a cute bomb – a damn Pandog! Just look at the video… I’m friggin’ speechless.

That said, as it is Japanese, it’s possible that it could just be a robot…but even then – fuckin’ Pandog!!!!!

I’m not exactly sure what the specific reason is this time, but Johhny Depp knows.

“OH! Wow… Fantastic…?”

WTF?!!?!?!

The Penis Cookie Website pimps these delicious treats as the answer to the shrinking population of Japan. 15 cookies will cost you a mere $4…a very cheap price to cure the woes of a nation.

Further to my previous revelations, the Japanese once again beat us at our own game:

We really are morons, aren’t we?

[props to TVInJapan]

I finally figured it out…

The Japanese are slowly training younger generations to excel at crap that Americans were traditionally the best at: wrestling, eating contests…and now, a new generation being culled to beat us at drinking.

The future does not look bright for the US of A.

Also, wrestling is real.