Jesus Christ, Lohan! Hire A Driver!

The Lohan has been arrested AGAIN… DUI, suspended license, possession. Yadda Yadda Yadda. Blah Blah Blah. What a fucking moron.

***UPDATE*** This happened mere hours ago. Her ex-con father has already done an interview with TMZ:

Lindsay’s dad said that he doesn’t believe that the 21-year-old can survive this latest DUI storm on her own, and wants to put the nasty custody fight with his estranged wife Dina on hold, in a last ditch effort to save their daughter’s life. “I want to withdraw everything — court wise — sit down with Dina as Lindsay’s parents and figure out how to help her,” Lohan said. “Lindsay can’t do this on her own … when we were together, none of this was happening.”

Will Smith’s Supersuit From John Hancock

Will Smith is badass.

Uh Oh… Katie Thought Outside The Box

Here are a few shots from the Beckham party hosted by The Scientologists.
Apparently, Stepford Wife Katie missed the “little black dress” memo.

TomKat, PoshN’Becks… Will and Jada. Will and Jada need a celebrity couple name.

Becks looks scared.

You can see more photos HERE
After you take a gander, maybe you can answer some questions I have:
1) Who invited Wesley Snipes?
2) Is Brooke Shields now required to attend everything that has anything to do with Tom Cruise? What will happen if she skips a photo op in his presence? Will her punishment involve an E-Meter?
3) Is Scientology the reason for Jim Carrey’s hair?
4) Just how hard are these martians trying to recruit Eva Longoria? Why? Her 15 minutes ended with that wedding.

Oh, Exploitable: What The Fuck Is This Mess?

That might be Jenny McCarty and Jim Carrey. I’m not really sure anymore…

So… Beckham Played. And Lost.

There was no doubt he was gonna play, people. Tom Cruise and Will Smith are hosting a party to celebrate his debut RIGHT NOW in Downtown Los Angeles. They announced the party last week, people.

The Meep-Mop Scientologists bequeathed it. “Injury” is not a word understood by Cruise and Smith. Beckham doesn’t know who he’s fucking with, the poor guy.
Dude – they’re like Posh. They can’t be stopped.

Daily RW Clip: Robbie Duz Mobile Phone Adz

This is the FOURTH time I have crafted this fucking post. I am having technical difficulties. And I’m tired. And I’m whining. Sorry for the delay…

Oh, Exploitable: Poor Jennifer Garner

In the midst of a bunch of morons deciding that Jennifer Garner is pregnant…

…Someone has taken the time to post an expose about her toe. Yes… I said it: HER TOE.

Yet another sign of our Devolution as a species.

Super Tramp Sets Sail!

Britney officially bypassed her usual trainwreck’d state of being to give shipwreck’d a whirl. Yippeeeeee!
She called a paparazzi photographer (aka: her LIFELINE… I believe she was actually apologizing to the paps just a few weeks ago) a big, fat pussy (or something to that effect).
Watch it for yourself.

Here are some fabulous photo highlights:

(Click on her nasty pits at your own risk!)

Please note: she appears to be posing for the paparazzi in the first thumbnail (on the dock). Sorry – posing for the “pussies”.

Paula Abdul: There Are No Words

Paula got fired from the BRATZ movie. What the hell was she doing on a movie in the first place? Choreographing? Judging? WHAT DOES SHE EVEN DO ANYMORE?
1) She cries.
2) She pulls the “WHY, GOD? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?” card.
3) She cries some more.

4) She checks her mobile device.
5) She tries to “solve mysteries”.
6) She cries some more.
7) She yells at her “people”.

I will admit… it would be devastating to be kicked off of the one movie that may actually be beneath the bi-polar trainwreck we call “Paula Abdul” – even if you weren’t Paula Abdul herself.

Whatevs. The movie got made without her and now the fucking moron is PUBLICIZING it:

Good move, jackass.

Box Office Estimates

If you care, here are the estimates (in millions, of course) for the weekend:

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry: 28.5 (NRG) 30 (Mktcast) 25 (OTX)

Hairspray: 20.25 (NRG) 27 (Mktcast) 29 (OTX)

Equally terrifying, both films provide further evidence of our Devolution as a species.

***UPDATE***
Here are the actuals:
Chuck and Larry: $34,775,000
Hairspray: $27,800,000
Look to Mktcast in the future. They were pretty damn close.

THE WAIT IS OVER!

That’s right… the wait for David Beckham is OVER! And guess what…?

…Nobody seems to care enough to actually buy tickets. Hence, The Galaxy is now begging you to buy tickets:

COME SEE DAVID BECKHAM! UMMMM… PLEASE?! SERIOUSLY! WE WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD COME SEE DAVID BECKHAM!

Fuck Times Courier Font!

I had been ignoring Courtney Love’s recent incoherent rant on myspace… for so very many reasons:
1) Get a real blog, Celebrity Peoples. It’s not hard (clearly).
2) Why are these “celebrity peoples” always taunting other “celebrity types” on the world’s most pedestrian “social networking site”?
3) Are they actually hoping to get “phished”? ‘Cause that’s generally what happens. And that means their 70,000 “Friends” are gonna get cellphone ringtone spamcomments. At the very least, their “Top 24″ will.

I digress…

The main reason is: Courtney Love + any form of “communication” = Mass Confusion.

However, the only properly spelled words in the post, “TIMES COURIER FONT” jumped out at me this morning and I felt the need to relay the rest of Courtney’s “words of wisdom”. They have something to do with Gwen Stefani, something to do with a Sportsac, a lot to do with fonts and, of course, massive quantities of drugs. The rest is up to you… maybe it’s a code? So Dark The Con Of Man? That sort of thing?

we were doing our hair( thew girls) way up in that ugly crazy building and couyld seeyou all for blocks, it was wild-= i told my peeps top go get bvoys wiuth skateboards and giurls whow ere into stefani, no offense to truyew fans i just felt like a challenge- if someone sreally into stefani to me that says they dontw anta nty trouble in thoe rlives, want very mucbh to be p[opular abnd accepted, wnatto be trendy but niot dangerous, and the idea of forcin gthat waznna be popular girl to face the fear cdoes somethin for me./plus im startinga clotyhing line this year too, just higher end and the lowerr end wont be about a font. i wouldbnt do that iu fond that crass somehow= a sportsac ten times the prio ce because it has ther same cuddle bear sweeetoe pie sign off that Rossdale used to sign hios letters to me with in a Times Courier font ? maybve its me, i know perfeume has a 800 -1200% profit markup so if one “brands” oneself well enough one can cash it in big an d hard by selling a perfume wethe rone gioves a shot about the smell opr not- kudos to madge for forgoinmg that , because nop way hads she not been asked. L.A.M.B. heh, well look its not fo rme to judge- im far mior eonteretsed in amazin g lingerie enyways and if i design a bag itll be fabulous

I Have Never Read A Harry Potter Book.

I did attempt to read The Chamber Of Secrets once, but I found it dense, and full of words, and papery. It was less like a “movie” and more like a “book”.
Anywhoodle…

If I did read Harry Potter books, I would hide them in DIY Book Jackets from THIS site.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Go HERE to see the full collection.

Rihanna: Don’t Stop The Music

I don’t really care but, I thought you might:

Blackface: Not Fucking NOT OK!

I’ve said it before: I don’t care if you’re in a pilot about Cavemen, or you happen to be Michael Richards, or if you’re Angelina Jolie:
NO! BLACKFACE = NO!
Especially if you’re Sally Kirkland posing with Paris and Nicole.
OH, SWEET JESUS, THIS IS SO WRONG:

BURN IN HELL, YOU FUCKING MORONS.